


How Darren Lost Brian, But Didn't Actually

by araliya



Category: Glee RPF
Genre: M/M, early!CrissColfer
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-24
Updated: 2017-09-24
Packaged: 2019-01-04 18:58:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,750
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12174729
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/araliya/pseuds/araliya
Summary: Based off this prompt:early!crisscolfer where Darren is watching Brian and Brian leaves the house cause that's what he usually does but Darren panics thinking he's lost him.





	How Darren Lost Brian, But Didn't Actually

**Author's Note:**

> While I do imagine Darren being able to charm the pants off like every living thing, I love the idea of him having to compete with Brian for Chris' affections. I adored this prompt!

It’s the first time Darren’s been alone in Chris’ house, and honestly, he’s not surprised  it’s come so soon. In the past few months he’s all but moved in, spending more time here than at his own apartment, where the dust gathers on his kitchen counter and socks remain untouched on the floor for months on end. 

 

It should be strange- Darren had practically taken the leap from hopping over once a week for script readings, to taking up residence on the couch every other day, and finally, slipping between Chris’ sheets every night, all in a matter of weeks. It was now a common occurrence for him to ride home in Chris’ BMW, his own car sitting lonely in the Paramount parking lot. 

 

Considering everything- namely Darren’s perpetual need to  _ make noise _ or  _ do something _ \- Chris actually seemed  _ like _ having Darren there- a fact that made him almost  _ vibrate _ with happiness. 

 

The same, however, couldn’t be said for the true head of the house- Brian Colfer.

 

As soon as Darren stepped into the house that very first time, the immediate rivalry had been established. Brian loathed him from the very start- he was sure of it. After all, why else would he make a point of howling loudly outside the door whenever he and Chris were  _ doing stuff  _ and getting an infuriatingly smug look on his face whenever Darren’s allergies acted up?

 

Chris, to Darren’s abject indignation, found the whole thing perfectly amusing. Instead, he presented Darren with his antihistamines and a glass of water at the door, and made a point of distracting Brian with food every time they had sex. (Which probably explained why Brian was getting so fat, but Darren wasn’t about to suggest otherwise.) 

 

Chris was kind of their peacemaker, and Darren had been dreading the day that he Brian would inevitably end up alone in each other’s company. Which turned out to be today.

 

At first the tension had been thick, Brian staring daggers at him as soon as Chris left home, gracing Darren with a peck on the nose and a stern glare at his cat. 

 

As entertaining as Darren’s grudge with Brian was, he knew that if his relationship with Chris was going where it was going (and  _ god _ , Darren hoped it was), he really had to make an effort to make friends with him. And he hasn’t been above bribery to do it. 

 

All throughout the morning he’s been slipping Brian gourmet cat treats-  _ Delightibles _ or something (and Chris would have  _ killed _ him if he knew Darren was significantly reversing the effects of the diet he’s put Brian on)- but the quiet way the cat noses into his palm in the search of more treats is absolutely worth it. 

 

It’s even gone so well as to him curling up in Darren’s lap as he takes care of a couple of emails, Brian’s contented purr tickling his thighs. He eventually has to nudge him off- the urge to pee being too large- and as Darren returns to the sofa he’s surprised to see that the cat’s vanished. 

 

And at a strange time as well- now’s supposed to be when Darren feeds him. He doesn’t think too much of it, settling back down into the cushions that smell so much of  _ Chris _ and pulling out his guitar for some song tweaking. 

 

It’s not until a couple of hours later that he realises that Brian  _ still _ hasn’t been to the kitchen to eat, which is ridiculously out of character. Food practically trumps Chris in Brian’s list of loves. Come to think of it, Darren hasn’t seen the damn cat in since morning, and he’s been around the house several times. 

 

A slightly sick feeling forming in his stomach, Darren gets up to search every room- under the bed, on the windowsills, in the  _ washing machine _ , and nope- he’s nowhere to be found. All that he finds is the open window above the kitchen sink, the gap wide enough for a dog, a raccoon, or a really fat cat. 

 

_ Fuck. _

 

Now Darren’s freaking out. Brian’s gone. Brian, practically Chris’  _ child _ , is gone. And it’s all his fault. Suddenly the thought enters his mind- if he can’t babysit a  _ cat _ , how is he supposed to look after more important living things, like their  _ kids _ ? 

 

(And woah- where did that thought come from, but right now he’s got more pressing matters on hand than how far gone he is with Chris.)

 

Quickly pocketing his phone and grabbing his car keys, (Chris doesn’t have to know, Chris doesn’t have to know that he’s lost the cat), Darren jumps in his car, pulling out of the driveway and carefully driving up the street. Brian can’t have gone far, right? He’s a house cat, he probably wouldn’t know where to go anyway. 

 

Darren drives at a snail’s pace, combing the streets around Chris’ house with crazy precision. If he actually  _ had  _ lost Brian, Chris would never forgive him. He’d accuse him of driving Brian away and they’d break up and Darren would  _ die _ and- 

 

_ No _ . It’s all going to be okay. It  _ has  _ to be.

 

But two hours later, Darren’s still searching even though it’s practically nighttime now, brightening his headlights to the highest setting because he can’t see shit. Defeated, he pulls into the driveway, freezing when he sees Chris’ car already there.  _ Shit, shit, shit, shit, shit.  _ How is he gonna do this? ‘Oh sorry Chris, the one time you trust me with your beloved cat, he runs away and I can’t find him? Please don’t break up with me?’

 

Darren steels himself for a moment, fingers gripping the car door for support since his legs might give way with the anxiety. After a minute (or five), he takes a deep breath, slipping through the door after unlocking it with his own key. Darren looks around as he walks into the open plan kitchen, but the house still looks painfully Brian-free. 

 

Chris stands at the counter, phone in hand, and startles when he sees Darren.

 

“Hey,” he says, eyes brightening.  An easy smile lingers on his face as he makes his way over, and a twist of guilt tightens in Darren’s stomach when Chris’ arms loop around his neck. “I was kind of worried.”

 

“Oh yeah?” Darren manages to get out, swallowing to get the dryness out of his throat. 

 

“Mhmm. The neighbour called and warned me about some guy circling the block really creepily- multiple times. She’s the lady from across the road, the one with the talking gnomes, so I really wasn’t sure what to make of it.”

 

_ Come on, Darren. Do it. Rip the bandaid off before it gets any worse. _

 

“I uh- that may have been me?”

 

Chris’ brow wrinkles in confusion. “What are you talking about?”

 

“Oh god, please don’t hate me, it was  _ all _ my fault-”

 

Chris places a hand on Darren’s knotted fingers which have been wringing themselves in a frenzy. “Woah, slow down. Why would I hate you?”

 

He takes a deep breath, looking straight into the glasz eyes in front of him. “IthinkIlostyourcatandI’msofuckingsorry.”

 

Chris raises one perfect eyebrow, his face a picture of amusement. If Darren weren’t so fucked right now, he’d be tempted to push him onto the counter and maul him. 

 

“English, please.”

 

“Brian’s gone. I swear I was being nice to him- we were  _ bonding _ ! I literally turned my back for three minutes and he wasn’t here, I checked  _ everywhere _ . And then I noticed the open window, he had to have gotten out somehow _ - _ ”

 

Chris starts laughing, his high clear voice startling Darren out of his frenzied tirade. “Oh my god, D-dare…” he wheezes, brushing newly forming tears from his eyes. “Y-you do realise that cats go out?”

 

Darren frowns. “Isn’t Brian a house cat?”

 

Chris is flushed red from laughing so much, and he tries to somber up, taking a moment to steady his breaths. “House cats  _ can _ go outside, in fact it’s much healthier for them to do so. Brian actually goes out so much that I was thinking of getting him a cat flap or something- opening the kitchen window lets way too much hot air in.”

Suddenly Darren feels very, very stupid. How did he not  _ know _ that? He must have been to busy all this time following Chris around like a lost puppy to notice Brian’s lifestyle habits. 

 

At Darren’s rapidly falling face, Chris’ voice softens. “It’s fine Dare, he’s asleep on our bed right now. Shit, you were really worried, weren’t you?”

 

“Well, yeah?! I would have  _ died _ if I’d actually lost him. You’d never trust me again!”

 

“Hey, Brian doesn’t even like  _ Ashley _ . If you guys were actually bonding, it would literally be a sign from the heavens to trust you. No matter what.”

 

A pleased smile forces its way onto Darren’s mouth, and he can’t help but preen at the fact that he’s finally won the love of Brian Colfer. “I can’t help but melt the hearts of everyone I meet.”

 

“Mhmm, keep telling yourself that,” says Chris, leaning forward to peck a kiss against his cheek. As his arms loop around Darren’s neck again, he murmurs against his hairline. “How  _ did _ you end up bonding with Brian? Must have been a pretty grand gesture, for you to have thawed that ice cold kitty heart.”

 

Darren swallows guiltily. “Cat treats? Like, lots of them?”

 

Chris pulls back abruptly. “Dare! He was on a  _ diet _ ! Is  _ that _ why he hasn’t eaten his dinner yet?”

 

“Maybe...?” At Chris’ indignant expression, he backpedals slightly. “I mean, at least he’s finally accepted me into the family!”

 

A small smile appears on his boyfriend’s face at that, and Darren breathes a sigh of relief. 

 

“Well then, we’ve got two options, haven’t we?”

 

“And they are…?”

 

Chris’ eyes twinkle with amusement. “Option one, we never have sex again.” 

 

At Darren’s splutter of horror, he laughs. “What? That’s why Brian’s been getting so fat- we always bribe him with food whenever we don’t want him to bother us.” When his expression of alarm doesn’t abate, Chris continues. “Or option two, we let him outside when we want to be alone, maybe that way he can burn some calories.”

 

“Option two,” Darren blurts immediately. “Definitely option two, I can’t believe you’d even think of number one.”

 

“Good,” Chris mumbles against his lips, their breath mingling in a heady concoction. “Because I was just thinking, I’d like to put Brian outside now.”

 

“Colfer, what an  _ amazing _ idea.” 

  
  
  
  



End file.
